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I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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After six years as primary caregiver to my mother I am becoming resentful. Is it always about her all the the time? I will probably die before my mother (98) from my own self neglect and emotional distress- putting her needs before my own -all the time. I am emotionally and physically spent. I am dead inside. My dear friend who is also a caregiver to her mother, was just diagnosed with a type of cancer that was likely triggered by stress. We are both going to die before our elderly parents. We are worn down to the bone and there is no light at the end of the tunnel. I believe disease can be triggered by stress. Reading this man’s essay about his sick wife and how it impacts his care did not make me feel better. It made me feel resentful and sad.
Thank you for writing this from your perspective as a patient. My father-in-law went through something similar. We (the kids) lived 3 hours away. My mother-in-law did not want anyone helping them and thank goodness he was still able to let us know that something had happened. She was his primary caregiver, had fallen, and broken a bone in her back. She required surgery, an inpatient stay of a few days and a brace for another few months. Luckily we were able to get up there by before surgery, have someone stay with her, and have someone keep his routine stable. I can only understand now how hard it must have been for him. Note: we put contingency plans into effect after that and he was able to stay at home for all but the last few weeks of his life.
My parents [mid to late 90's] nor I ever had a Plan B in case I wasn't able to help them. My folks lived on their own and managed pretty well except for transportation. I was their wheels.
Well, one day I fell and broke my upper arm, very painful, and I wasn't able to drive for 6 months as it was the right arm and I couldn't use it to turn the key in the ignition nor could I shift gears. My folks were in a tizzy. Dad needed a haircut. Mom needed things at the store, etc. Take a taxi? In what universe?
One would think after what happened above that my parents would have developed a Plan B.... like maybe it would be a good time to move to senior living. Do something. Nope.
What a challenge for you both. I have to say, I don't think it was selfish of you at all. Because she needs you to be there for her, just as you need her. So taking good care of yourself is a gift to her AND her taking good care of herself is a gift to you. I know if my senior mom and I were dealing with that and it was me that was so ill, she would be beyond terrified. I'm blessed to have one child nearby that could help along with others at a distance. But it is good food for thought for us as well. Thank you for sharing this. Praying for y'all!
Yea, I've thought about this, also. I'm the caregiver. Hubby needs the routine. Right down to bathroom issues that happen about 2 or 3 times a week. He's never had anyone dress or give him his meds. His Daughter, who lives with us, (we're a blended family) sort of knows but is in denial. And she "freaks out" easily. We have a caregiver; and she comes in two mornings a week. If I got sick, don't know if she could come in quickly. Question for her next Wednesday. Hubby's DIL would be the best one as she's a head on her shoulders and lives locally.
Thank you for this eye opening article. Thank you for being honest and candid. I am caring from my mom in a completely different state then all my family. I need to ask if someone would be willing to come care for her or if she would need to go to a facility.
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By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
7 Comments
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Emergency Respite Care Plans Are Crucial for Caregivers
After six years as primary caregiver to my mother I am becoming resentful. Is it always about her all the the time? I will probably die before my mother (98) from my own self neglect and emotional distress- putting her needs before my own -all the time. I am emotionally and physically spent. I am dead inside. My dear friend who is also a caregiver to her mother, was just diagnosed with a type of cancer that was likely triggered by stress. We are both going to die before our elderly parents. We are worn down to the bone and there is no light at the end of the tunnel. I believe disease can be triggered by stress. Reading this man’s essay about his sick wife and how it impacts his care did not make me feel better. It made me feel resentful and sad.
My parents [mid to late 90's] nor I ever had a Plan B in case I wasn't able to help them. My folks lived on their own and managed pretty well except for transportation. I was their wheels.
Well, one day I fell and broke my upper arm, very painful, and I wasn't able to drive for 6 months as it was the right arm and I couldn't use it to turn the key in the ignition nor could I shift gears. My folks were in a tizzy. Dad needed a haircut. Mom needed things at the store, etc. Take a taxi? In what universe?
One would think after what happened above that my parents would have developed a Plan B.... like maybe it would be a good time to move to senior living. Do something. Nope.
Like I say, I've thought of this.