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I searched on this subject because I am having this issue with my 73-year-old mother. she has had some very expensive hearing aids & another set of pretty good ones. Her thing is she acts like she hears me but she answers the wrong question. I can tell she doesn't understand because she's not answering right. I asked her to please wear them and I've caught her with her having the HA around her ear, but has the part that goes in ear pulled out?? When HA in I'm too loud so I do agree that it probably is a decline in cognitive and then when they get the hearing aids it's almost too much. all kinds of different sounds. But I want to thank you. I have laughed so much I feel better just laughing with all hearing everybody's different comments and the funny things that have happened. With with my mom it's only going to get worse I've suggested learning sign language.
wow...question of the century!!! my father has been telling me he can't hear me for 7 years now!! he speaks to me all the time...but when i respond he puts his hand in my face tells me he can't hear me! if i ask him if he wants tacos or something he loves to eat...he always hears me!!! he never comes to the table with his hearing aid on...and i refuse to go get it for him. this causes me to yell...which eventually raises my blood pressure!! it is a constant battle, he drives me crazy with his laziness to at least try to hear me by wearing his hearing aid! also, i do think these hearing aids are a big ripoff!!! thousands of $$$$ and after 6 months they don't work ... or did they everdf???? sick of this whole problem!
I feel your pain Marlis. I too took my dad to the VA to get his hearing tested. He needed a pair because his loss of hearing was almost 60%. He too has Dementia. He wore them for about two weeks and was having trouble comprehending how to get them in his ears and stay there. I tried many times to help him get them to stay in his ears but he always had them backwards. Finally he said the same thing as your husband said to you that he didn't need them because he could hear fine. I tried everything from explaining that they were free to taking them back to getting my mom involved and so on. I took them and put them in the case that they came in and they have been in there for 4 months. I too need suggestions.
wow, this topic has been a tough one for me!! we have purchased new hearing aids for my father every year or two for the last 15 years! first of all, you would think that they should work for awhile! NO.. I think the hearing aid stores are a big rip off...but a person that can't hear well needs them. my father constantly complained about not being able to hear with his hearing aid at home...then we would ran back and forth to the store to have it adjusted...and miraculously, he could hear there!!! my dad is now 91 yrs old....and after all that complaining...for the last two years, he won't even put it on unless i hand it to him!! the sad thing about all this...it seems like he does hear when he wants, and because of all the games he plays, maybe for attention...no one speaks to him anymore! if i have something important to talk about, i'll go get it out of his drawer and ask him to put it on so that he could hear what i have to say. my mother...would NEVER wear hers...no matter what! goooooood luck folks! i gave up!
Sadly the Dementia process prevents the learning of new things. It is very difficult to adjust to the new when your brain is forgetting the old. Charlie may not be a good candidate for hearing aids at this stage of his life. There are sound magnifiers that are a small receiver that you sit someplace in the house( near the TV) the person wears a necklace like speaker system around their neck and the sound is magnified. They are wireless and can be used to magnify conversations at a family gathering or other circumstance. The set up costs about 200$. I attended an aging conference where I spoke to a research fellow who had done a study on Hearing Aides and the benefit received at various stages of life including age, and the level of hearing loss. She found that the younger the hearing aids were started the better the cognitive gain. When a person has had trouble hearing for 10-20 years there has already been a loss of cognitive ability to adapt. So 45 year olds adapt far better than 80 year olds. My Co-Worker who wears hearing aids said it takes at least 90 days of wearing them constantly to adjust your brain to filter out the back ground noise that a hearing person automatically filters out everyday. Example is my 85 year old mother has struggled with hearing aids various times in her life. She hates the fact that she can hear the fridge or dishwasher or fan running where we would filter out background noise automatically, the person who is hearing impaired for a long time has lost that ability and the brain has to be retrained. In Charlie's case his brain is not learning new things he is losing current function. The outlook for success may not be good for him.
My 88 y/o mom purchased hearing aids for $3k a few yrs ago & after a few weeks returned them losing $500 of her money. She is in AL for the past 6 mos due to a psychotic disorder & is ok on meds but her hearing is a constant battle. She hardly hears anything but won't try another hearing aid & is worried about the cost since she is paying so much for AL. I have given up trying to persuade her. She just sits quiet at times bc of this. It is very frustrating & difficult to accept.
After hearing his many complaints, I was able to convince my dear hubby that the reason he felt left out of most conversations was because he needed hearing aids. He at last agreed to a hearing test, tried the aids and they helped, but he still wears them rarely. He says he forgets, and probably does. (I need a checklist of all the things i need to remind him about!) We went to Costco and chose their store brand. The tech tested several things including his pain threshold, so on most settings the volume is controlled and loud noises are filtered out. There is a restaurant setting too, that works surprisingly well.He hears the person across from him, but the background noise and conversations from other tables is minimized. I think they're amazing and i didn't understand why he doesn't wear them every day, until I read some comments here. They probably are uncomfortable, and due to one ear canal being very small, difficult to insert. And he has a lot of wax, and needs help getting it loosened and flushed out. Also, as others have mentioned, with the aids he is hearing 'normal' sounds that the rest of us long ago learned to ignore, but they distract him.
My friend is all these people mentioned. She has finally found something that will work for her. The family went to a Hard of Hearing Centre and they gave her a tiny microphone to clip on her clothes and headphones. It works :D, now we just have to remind her to use it.... Claims the headphones hurt her ears???
Over a year ago my mom agreed to let me purchase hearing aids online for her at a price of $699 a pair. (We had seen an advertisement in Popular Science for these particular hearing aids, called MDHearingAid.)
Previously Mom had refused hearing aids from two different audiologists, over a period of about five years. She didn't like the price (I think one audiologist had wanted close to $6,000 and the second doctor wanted $4,200). She also didn't like it that one office had insisted she would have to clean the hearing aids each and every night. So frustrating.
Mom's been wearing her MDHearingAid hearing aids over a year now with great results. (We got the AIR model). I have to agree with the reviews on the MDHearingAid website. This device has been like a miracle. I don't have to shout for Mom to hear me. She can even hear us when her back is turned. She can hear what the doctor is saying to her at her doctor appointments, can hear the TV without having it up so loud, can hear other people at her table in a restaurant.
The company's customer service has also been great. For example...even though the hearing aids came with six different sized domes in two different styles, my mom needed a longer tube for one of her ears that's apparently longer than the other. I wrote to the company and they sent Mom a set of longer tubes at no additional cost, not even for shipping.
It really surprised me that we could find hearing aids online that perform this well, but I guess it shouldn't have. My $11.99 eyeglasses--also purchased online--seem just as good as those I used to pay over $200 for at the optometrist's office (smile).
Being hearing impaired, living with a profoundly hard of hearing mother and father who also had difficulty hearing in later years, I relate quite well to your story. When he was alive and in a nursing home, dad was also fitted for hearing aids which were paid for by Veteran's Affairs. He tried two on occasion, then one on occasion, then permanently stored them both in a box in the drawer. His biggest challenge was that the had tremors in his hands, and the aids, which were inserted into the ear, were very small, slippery and tricky to insert. Additionally, the appendage used to pull them out was also small and hard to grasp. The other difficulty my dad experienced was the volume, especially when he wore the two hearing aids. They also hurt his ears and gave him a headache. The nurses and I offered to put the hearing aids in, and the hearing aid specialist offered to visit the home and make the adjustments, but no go. He wasn't impressed.
My mom, on the other hand, has worn two very powerful, behind the ear hearing aids for many years, and she is now totally deaf when she takes them out. The mould causes extreme soreness and irritation of the skin in the outer and middle ear, and the constant drainage leaves her prone to infections and a tendency for the hearing aids to be blocked. On the last visit to her hearing aid specialist, it was discovered that one of the hearing aids did not work, and there was no more power to be gained from it, so she is down to one hearing aid. However, again, the problem that she has is the volume is too high but there is no clarity of speech, and she has regular episodes of not being able to hear because the aid is blocked, which sends her into panic.
I recently bought my second hearing aid from the same dispenser for my diseased ear (mastoidectomy, removal of anvil/hammer/stirrup and a patch on the eardrum) which, like mom, results in chronic drainage. My other ear is mechanically normal but I have sustained auditory nerve damage with what they call a "cookie chunk" of hearing loss in the high frequency speech area. I also have trouble with syncronization of sound from two hearing aids, especially with such diverse sources of hearing loss. I, too, experience discomfort from having them in my ears, and wear them selectively (church, seminars, appointments) while keeping them out for sometimes days at a time. I am making a conscious effort to wear them more often and in more settings, such as at home. There are situations, however, when wearing hearing aids can cause further damage to the auditory nerve such as traffic, machinery or other situations in which the number of decibals are excessively high.
A hearing aid does not replace your normal hearing; there is something artificial and tinny about it. Quite often there is electrical feedback. There is a foreign object in the ear canal that can cause discomfort and sensitivity. I am very grateful for my hearing aids, but do I wear them as often as I should - no. Like exercise (lol).
It seems to me that he might forget that he has them and like you said they are agrivating to put in. My mom doesn't wear hers either. I'm a nervous wreck when I leave her from YELLING my questions and answers. She tried sleeping in hers instead of taking out at night, but one fell out and the Yorky chewed it to pieces. Her t.v. Blares night and day, but I don't have to be there. I turn it down sometimes but she turns it back up after commercials. Mom has ALZ.
getting fit for hearing aids is a huge problem for some people! my mother NEVER wore hers and hated them...she would rather not hear. my dad has had many types of hearing aids and have taken him to endless amounts of hearing aid adjustments till i couldn't bare it anymore!! I bought him headsets for his tv so that the tv wouldn't be blasting!!! those work very well...they have all kinds. gooood luck..
Just glad to hear I'm not the only one with the problem! My sibs and I chipped in to buy Mom top-of-the line aids. At first she loved them. Now, I have to beg her to wear them. She might when we go out, and sometimes when I complain about the TV being so loud. My only consolation: Maybe I'll be able to use them some day. (G) Mom is 97 and otherwise in good health.
My mother is profoundly deaf and we have had all if the same struggles. She does agree to wear one hearing aid, at least. Be careful when the audiologist adjusts them-- the last time they turned them up it was so disturbing for her she strarted leaving them out again-- better to be a little too low than not in at all. Finally, I found a product that attaches to the hearing aids and then clips to the back of a shirt so that if they fall out they will stay clipped in place. Something to try! Good luck
My Mom, also, had enough of loosing the conversation, hearing complaints about how high she turned the TV on, etc. She finally considered getting a hearing aide, again, top of the line. They came to the house and carefully checked her hearing, fit an aide to her. When it finally came, she had a hard time with all of the sounds she hadn't heard in a long time. Finally during a conversation with 3 other people she was so distressed, she took the aides out of her ears in tears and would never wear them again. They were returned. Too bad. I wish there was an answer here.
My husband has not let me schedule an appointment for him. His lack of hearing is getting worse however, he still procrastinates. Perhaps it is an admission of getting old and not in control of his once active and able self. Having to be face to face in order for him to hear and then having to raise my voice is really trying. Hope this resolves soon....good luck to us all in this situation.
I have heard that adapting to two hearing aids can be very difficult. If the degree of hearing loss is in any way significant the world will suddenly be much too LOUD; that ticking clock, the humming refrigerator, your partner's breathing, all the everyday background noise is suddenly once again audible and it can really get on your nerves. I'm sure adding dementia to the mix would more than double the adjustment time. Perhaps starting with just one at a time would help, and definitely don't leave putting them in and daily maintenance to them but matter of factly do it for them. Now if only we could keep them from taking them out during the day...
My husband loses his also. So... when he agrees to wear them, he sticks them in his ears with double-sided tape. When we go out with little chunks of tape haging out of his hair. It's a real conversation piece. But, of course, he can't hear the conversation. All he hears is " "Battery, Battery," so he pulls out the aids - we call them 'ear plugs', and tape. The cat finds them and brings them back to his bedside table.
Marlis, my Mom is 97 and still sharp as a tack except when it comes to hearing aids... it's a constant battle because of daily user error for the past 10 years.
One major issue is that Mom refuses to have her ears cleaned of wax, she will go to the doctor but as soon as that hot water touches her ears that's the end of the wax cleaning, so it doesn't get done. Forget ear drops for wax, she doesn't like how it feels in her ears.... [sigh].
Second major issue is that she doesn't clean the hearing aid daily, as one flake of skin will jam the hearing aid. Third major issue, she is afraid to place the ear piece all the way into her ear, afraid it might hurt.
So now she blames the ear doctor, saying the lady doesn't know what she is doing and also blames the hearing aid. And Dad will see this hearing aid or that hearing aid advertisement and wants Mom to try it.... NOOOOO, I am not giving up more work days when Mom has two perfectly good hearing aids :P
Oh Marlis - my 84 year old husband is not mentally challenged, but he is one stubborn old German/Irish !! Many years ago I pleaded and pleaded for him to get his hearing tested. His take was that the problem was not his, but mine, that is, I 'mumbled', or I 'did not speak loud enough for him' ! What a blast.........I mean, nothing was his problem it was all mine. After several years of pleading, and finally threatening to leave him, did he decide to get tested. His hearing was very bad in both ears. We too went to the VA, and John was given the best hearing aids they had, plus batteries, plus a phone for the hearing impaired. It was wonderful then to have him hearing again, but it took several more years to get him to wear them each and every day. In fact, he still will cheat, and not wear them when he thinks I won't care. Won't care? Wow - he is making his problems my problems. What to do??? Maybe threatening will work again, d'ya think ????
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We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
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APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
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21 Comments
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Getting a Loved One to Wear Their Hearing Aid
I can tell she doesn't understand because she's not answering right. I asked her to please wear them and I've caught her with her having the HA around her ear, but has the part that goes in ear pulled out?? When HA in I'm too loud so I do agree that it probably is a decline in cognitive and then when they get the hearing aids it's almost too much. all kinds of different sounds. But I want to thank you. I have laughed so much I feel better just laughing with all hearing everybody's different comments and the funny things that have happened.
With with my mom it's only going to get worse I've suggested learning sign language.
They are wireless and can be used to magnify conversations at a family gathering or
other circumstance. The set up costs about 200$. I attended an aging conference where I spoke to a research fellow who had done a study on Hearing Aides and the benefit received at various stages of life including age, and the level of hearing loss.
She found that the younger the hearing aids were started the better the cognitive gain. When a person has had trouble hearing for 10-20 years there has already been a loss of cognitive ability to adapt. So 45 year olds adapt far better than 80 year olds. My Co-Worker who wears hearing aids said it takes at least 90 days of wearing them constantly to adjust your brain to filter out the back ground noise that a hearing person automatically filters out everyday.
Example is my 85 year old mother has struggled with hearing aids various times in her life. She hates the fact that she can hear the fridge or dishwasher or fan running where we would filter out background noise automatically, the person who is hearing impaired for a long time has lost that ability and the brain has to be retrained. In Charlie's case his brain is not learning new things he is losing current function. The outlook for success may not be good for him.
She has finally found something that will work for her.
The family went to a Hard of Hearing Centre and they gave her a tiny microphone to clip on her clothes and headphones. It works :D, now we just have to remind her to use it.... Claims the headphones hurt her ears???
Previously Mom had refused hearing aids from two different audiologists, over a period of about five years. She didn't like the price (I think one audiologist had wanted close to $6,000 and the second doctor wanted $4,200). She also didn't like it that one office had insisted she would have to clean the hearing aids each and every night. So frustrating.
Mom's been wearing her MDHearingAid hearing aids over a year now with great results. (We got the AIR model). I have to agree with the reviews on the MDHearingAid website. This device has been like a miracle. I don't have to shout for Mom to hear me. She can even hear us when her back is turned. She can hear what the doctor is saying to her at her doctor appointments, can hear the TV without having it up so loud, can hear other people at her table in a restaurant.
The company's customer service has also been great. For example...even though the hearing aids came with six different sized domes in two different styles, my mom needed a longer tube for one of her ears that's apparently longer than the other. I wrote to the company and they sent Mom a set of longer tubes at no additional cost, not even for shipping.
It really surprised me that we could find hearing aids online that perform this well, but I guess it shouldn't have. My $11.99 eyeglasses--also purchased online--seem just as good as those I used to pay over $200 for at the optometrist's office (smile).
My mom, on the other hand, has worn two very powerful, behind the ear hearing aids for many years, and she is now totally deaf when she takes them out. The mould causes extreme soreness and irritation of the skin in the outer and middle ear, and the constant drainage leaves her prone to infections and a tendency for the hearing aids to be blocked. On the last visit to her hearing aid specialist, it was discovered that one of the hearing aids did not work, and there was no more power to be gained from it, so she is down to one hearing aid. However, again, the problem that she has is the volume is too high but there is no clarity of speech, and she has regular episodes of not being able to hear because the aid is blocked, which sends her into panic.
I recently bought my second hearing aid from the same dispenser for my diseased ear (mastoidectomy, removal of anvil/hammer/stirrup and a patch on the eardrum) which, like mom, results in chronic drainage. My other ear is mechanically normal but I have sustained auditory nerve damage with what they call a "cookie chunk" of hearing loss in the high frequency speech area. I also have trouble with syncronization of sound from two hearing aids, especially with such diverse sources of hearing loss. I, too, experience discomfort from having them in my ears, and wear them selectively (church, seminars, appointments) while keeping them out for sometimes days at a time. I am making a conscious effort to wear them more often and in more settings, such as at home. There are situations, however, when wearing hearing aids can cause further damage to the auditory nerve such as traffic, machinery or other situations in which the number of decibals are excessively high.
A hearing aid does not replace your normal hearing; there is something artificial and tinny about it. Quite often there is electrical feedback. There is a foreign object in the ear canal that can cause discomfort and sensitivity. I am very grateful for my hearing aids, but do I wear them as often as I should - no. Like exercise (lol).
My mom doesn't wear hers either. I'm a nervous wreck when I leave her from YELLING my questions and answers. She tried sleeping in hers instead of taking out at night, but one fell out and the Yorky chewed it to pieces.
Her t.v. Blares night and day, but I don't have to be there. I turn it down sometimes but she turns it back up after commercials. Mom has ALZ.
When we go out with little chunks of tape haging out of his hair.
It's a real conversation piece. But, of course, he can't hear the conversation. All he hears is " "Battery, Battery," so he pulls out the aids - we call them 'ear plugs', and tape. The cat finds them and brings them back to his bedside table.
One major issue is that Mom refuses to have her ears cleaned of wax, she will go to the doctor but as soon as that hot water touches her ears that's the end of the wax cleaning, so it doesn't get done. Forget ear drops for wax, she doesn't like how it feels in her ears.... [sigh].
Second major issue is that she doesn't clean the hearing aid daily, as one flake of skin will jam the hearing aid. Third major issue, she is afraid to place the ear piece all the way into her ear, afraid it might hurt.
So now she blames the ear doctor, saying the lady doesn't know what she is doing and also blames the hearing aid. And Dad will see this hearing aid or that hearing aid advertisement and wants Mom to try it.... NOOOOO, I am not giving up more work days when Mom has two perfectly good hearing aids :P
Are we having fun yet?