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I am a caregiver and I try my best to stay optimistic it helps. If I didn't have God in my life I couldn't make it. It's true you have to stay focus on the beauty that surrounds you. This article is a great help. Thank you
If anything, this is a good reminder to [us] caregiver's to check in with ourselves more often than not. Like this article says, we should (if necessary) 'force' our inner 'selves' to take in the beautiful small things around us so we don't let depression get the best of us. I know... easier said than done... but, what's the alternative?... We're all on this ride together...Blessings...
I meant to add that I have always been an optimist and completely upbeat. I never had a hard time or had to make those difficult decisions. My cup has always been half full and I have tried to remain positive in the midst of watching my husband disappear like sand through an hourglass. And through my children and grandchildren moving away. And through having to give up my job to care for my husband. And through having my two best friends get sick and one is moving far away very soon. The other has hip issues and can't walk. I have been staying positive until all these house issues came up. All I can say is thank God I chose to care for my brother in law who died recently. He left me enough money to fix these house problems. God bless my BIL Dave. He was totally a blessing in disguise. And he was a pleasure to care for while he was in my home! He was the one I could talk to. He had Dementia too, but could still reason. God has been good to me.
Right now, my husband is not the problem. My 14 year old house has chosen this year to fall apart and I am in the midst of having to make decisions of huge repairs. In the thousands of dollars. Since my lawyer has said that I can spend down my money on the house, I am fixing things! But it is so stressful to deal with unscrupulous salesmen, and repairs when you don't know a thing about anything! I just hate making these decisions alone. My church has finally stepped up to help, so maybe now I will get some relief from having to make all these decisions!
I think the article had a few tips that can be tried to help make it a bit easier on both the care-giver n the person whom has AD. If the caregiver can at least take a few minutes to her or himself by looking at the bright clouds floating above to laying on the floor n babying talking to your pet or to taking a moment to listen to the birds chirping in the air would at least help a few minuets to get in that positive mode. Not that it will make the problem or what ever that was bothering you go away but maybe a better more relaxed for a few minuets to think before you say or do something later that u may regret. I try everyday to outweigh the good with the bad when it comes to the mnl with AD and sometimes the bad can outweigh the good. That is where I try to find that little space of mine to rethink n redirect my mindset on how to handle things. Of course, they always don't work yet, some do work n some is better than none. I think that is what the article is trying to help us how to balance r life even though we will feel like we r riding a rollar coaster sometimes. To look at good of the outcome n not all the negative part for it will just multiply n then you r more miserable. I have to remind myself as well that, the mnl is not all their n that sometimes she don't fully understand what is going on for that time of day. That it is a shame n devastating disease such as AD that will slowly rob the person's independency. The least I can do is educate myself as I learn what works best for both of us in order to make our lives run as smooth as much as possible. Now, I have to check bathroom for poop on the toliet paper n toliet handle. Never a dull moment. ; )
Thank you so much for this article as it is not easy for us to see the glass as half full instead of empty when we get in a rut and suffer from caregiver burnout. It does not help us or the ones we care for either. It made me more grateful to have a roof over our heads and a loving home with both of my parents here in their own house instead of a nursing home. Caregiving is so much easier for us if we are not stressed out, grumpy and tired all the time. It has taken me a long time to realize that to just go with the flow instead of being so resistant and bullheaded. It also brings down the people around you down and is hard on their health and well being. This article helped so much to see that their is a light at the end of the tunnel instead of that isolated, hopeless feeling. Also was feeling kind of down feeling abandoned that I never hear from or see my "so called friends" anymore, but that is their loss and there is not much I can do. It just makes it kind of more hesitant to trust other people or let them into my life. Friendship should be more about the person than money and a bunch of bs gossip. It should be more about being there to depend on each other when you need a shoulder to cry on or just somebody to talk to when you are having a hard time and that is not so easy to find sometimes. Anyway, hope this article helps us - caregivers as well as others that are involved in the care of our loved ones.
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By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
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I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
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APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
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You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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Channel Your Inner Optimist to Overcome Caregiver Stress
There are so many ways to share.
I try everyday to outweigh the good with the bad when it comes to the mnl with AD and sometimes the bad can outweigh the good. That is where I try to find that little space of mine to rethink n redirect my mindset on how to handle things. Of course, they always don't work yet, some do work n some is better than none. I think that is what the article is trying to help us how to balance r life even though we will feel like we r riding a rollar coaster sometimes. To look at good of the outcome n not all the negative part for it will just multiply n then you r more miserable. I have to remind myself as well that, the mnl is not all their n that sometimes she don't fully understand what is going on for that time of day. That it is a shame n devastating disease such as AD that will slowly rob the person's independency. The least I can do is educate myself as I learn what works best for both of us in order to make our lives run as smooth as much as possible. Now, I have to check bathroom for poop on the toliet paper n toliet handle. Never a dull moment. ; )